Sic Transit Gloria
by Soozen
Summary: It felt so good, so normal, so right…and yet, so wrong at the same time. He knew somewhere, in the back of his head that this couldn't be happening, shouldn't be happening….
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE**: I was previously under the penname **sue sue magoo**; do _not_ accuse me of plagiarism. This is my story. sue sue magoo and Soozen are the same person- me. Thank you.

* * *

"…_You don't recover from a night like this.  
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.  
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.  
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets  
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."  
__Upon arrival the guests had all stared.  
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,  
he'd headed straight for the stairs.  
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch..."  
_-Sic Transit Gloria…Glory Fades by Brand New

* * *

He tumbled backwards onto the bed in the dark room, Kagura on top of him. His hands were everywhere, her hands were everywhere, lips meshing together, fighting each other, letting the other take control before forcing themselves to dominance. Her lips moved onto his neck, sucking, nipping, tenderly kissing, making his head spin. It felt so good, so normal, so right…and yet, so wrong at the same time. He knew somewhere, in the back of his head that this couldn't be happening, shouldn't be happening….

* * *

The day had started out normally. He had woken up late; the weather was rainy, and it always drained him of energy, made him groggy. After a cold shower, which he had hoped would perk himself up, he headed downstairs to the kitchen, unprepared for the scene inside.

Tohru was against the wall, deep in a kiss with Yuki. Both had heard him enter and hadn't stopped. He stared at them unable to take his eyes off.

"No…."

At his slight whisper, Yuki looked up, breaking the kiss with Tohru. Tohru looked embarrassed, biting her lip and looking down at the ground. Yuki, on the other hand, was staring back at him, a glint in his eyes that clearly said, _I won_.

"Kyo-kun, um-"

He didn't wait to hear what Tohru had to say, he didn't want to know what she would say. He ran, out of the house, nearly bumping into Kagura who was at the door.

"Kyo-kun, what's wrong?" she cried as he shoved her aside, fleeing from the house and into the rain.

He didn't get far before the rain got to him, slowing him down and draining him of energy. He stopped, leaning against a tree trunk, wanting to erase what he'd seen. It kept playing over and over; the kiss, Tohru's embarrassment, and Yuki's smug look. He had won, Yuki had won again.

He slammed his fist into the trunk, wincing slightly as the bark scratched at his knuckles. _It wasn't fair_. Everything, everything, always went perfectly for Yuki, leaving him nothing. Why couldn't he get anything? Tohru meant the world to him, Tohru was the only thing he had, the only person outside the family who had ever actually cared about him. And now, Yuki had taken her from him.

He sank to the muddy ground, letting the rain fall on him, making him drowsy. It just wasn't fair….

The day passed before he moved. He let himself get soaked, let the rain make him tired, give him chills, anything to cover up the emptiness, the vacant hole inside. It hurt to think of what he had lost, though he and Tohru were never truly a couple. But, now there was no chance, and it hurt to think of it like that.

Tohru meant so much to him. She had proved to him that he could be liked, could be accepted by others. And…there was just something about her; maybe it was because she was so naïve, or just the fact that she was absolutely adorable, that he couldn't stop thinking about her. She became his world, his reason for waking up, for staying with the family instead of running off, or moving back in with Kazuma. And now she couldn't be his. She was Yuki's, Yuki's to hold, to touch, to kiss.

Night began to fall when he decided it was time to return. Hopefully, he'd see neither Yuki or Tohru. It would be too much for him, especially if he interrupted him again.

When he opened the back door, he came upon all of them, Shigure, Tohru and Yuki, sitting at the table to eat, an empty plate waiting for him.

"Ah, there you are Kyo," Shigure said. "Tohru-kun said you'd left rather suddenly a few hours ago. She was worried about you."

He didn't answer, but turned to leave the room, careful not to look at her.

"You-you aren't hungry?" Tohru asked timidly behind him.

"No." His answer was angry, snappy. He could almost see the hurt on Tohru's face as she slowly replied, "Oh…okay."

"Stupid cat," Yuki said, a slight growl to his voice. "Don't take your anger out on Honda-san."

Just before he closed the door, he heard Yuki comforting Tohru, telling her it was all right. His anger boiled. He would never be the one to comfort her; he had never even tried to. He was always the reason she needed to be comforted. No wonder she had chosen Yuki.

He pounded up the stairs, ready to hit anything in his way, ready to explode. He needed to get this emptiness out, needed to cover it up, he just needed it to fade away. Opening the door to his room, he was surprised to find Kagura sitting on his bed, the only light coming from the setting sun that peeked through his window shades.

"Kyo-kun," she whispered, standing up. He didn't respond, and didn't move as she walked to him.

"Kyo-kun, are you okay?" Her voice was just as soft as before. "You ran out so fast, and you looked upset…."

She stood in front of him for a moment, then slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. He didn't shove her away, didn't snap at her. It felt strangely good to be hugged. Well, good wasn't the correct word. Pleasant, it felt pleasant, calming, filling.

She hugged him tighter. "Whatever happened, it's okay, Kyo-kun. I'm here."

He looked down at her, into her deep brown eyes. This was nice, being this close. Is this how it would feel if he was with Tohru?

Her lips pressed against his, softly at first, then with more insistence, wanting more. He was happy to oblige; he'd do anything to fill the void within. They kissed more fervently, Kagura pressing herself against him, turning him, steering him toward the bed.

He tumbled backwards onto the bed in the dark room, Kagura on top of him. His hands were everywhere, her hands were everywhere, lips meshing together, fighting each other, letting the other take control before forcing themselves to dominance. Her lips moved onto his neck, sucking, nipping, tenderly kissing, making his head spin. It felt so good, so normal, so right…and yet, so wrong at the same time. He knew somewhere, in the back of his head that this couldn't be happening, shouldn't be happening….

Her hands slid down to the bottom of his tee shirt and slowly eased it up over his head, fingertips teasingly brushing over his muscles. He gasped at the touch, shivers running down his spine. Still straddling his waist, she straightened up, reaching behind her. The whispery sound of a zipper was the only sound besides their heavy breaths and then her dress fell off her shoulders. Slowly, ever so slowly, as though she were trying to tease him again, she grabbed the bottoms of her dressed and pulled it off, over her head.

This…this was wrong. He could feel it, he knew it, but everything she did was so distracting, turned his attention away from the hurt, from voicing what he knew was wrong.

She was lying on him again, kissing him, undoing the button on his jeans and shoving them roughly down to his ankles. Without thinking, he kicked them off, nearly crying out as her hands ventured underneath his boxers.

_No._

He shouldn't let this happen. This was supposed to be with Tohru; this would only hurt later, hurt him and Kagura.

"Kagura," he gasped.

"Shh…"

"No….Kagura…..No!"

With a small growl, he sat up, shoving her away. She landed on the floor, staring up at him, scared, sad.

"Kyo-kun…."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I…..I can't."

* * *

Sudden ending, I know. But, ya know what? I kinda like it.

I am not a Kagura/Kyo fan at all….so sorry to all you Kagura/Kyo fans out there. Even if you do hate how it ended, please review? Please?


	2. Chapter 2

Last chapter. Yay?

* * *

"K-Kyo-kun…." Kagura whispered, staring at him with wide eyes. She was so confused, so upset. What had she done that made Kyo practically throw her across the room? 

She didn't like this feeling, this uncertainty. She had been _so_ sure that he had wanted her, that he wouldn't reject her this time, but, obviously, she had been wrong. Maybe she had moved too fast? But that was how fast she thought he wanted to go, and he certainly hadn't been complaining.

He stared back at her, sitting on the edge of his bed. His eyes were roaming all over he; why wouldn't they? He was a guy, and she was only in her underwear. Suddenly, Kyo stood up, pulling his jeans back on.

"Kyo-kun?"

He didn't respond, just walked to the door, picking up his shirt as he went, and left the room.

Kagura felt like crying, as she sat on the floor in the dark, wearing only panties and a bra. There had always been some sort of rejection from him, but they were always verbal rejections, a snappish voice and curses. She was used to that, she could handle that; he was that way with everyone. But, to completely reject her, to force her away, to _silently_ scream 'no!'… she couldn't understand it, believe it. Not after what they almost had done, not after that.

Kagura didn't move for a long time. She didn't even realize how long she had stayed where she was, until she heard everyone else go upstairs and into their own bedrooms. Hearing them, she quickly pulled her clothes back on; they were family, and they did know how much she loved Kyo, but she didn't want them to see her like this just the same.

Soon, the house fell silent, as the flushing of toilets, running water, and the shuffling around inside the different rooms ceased. _Where was Kyo?_

Staying as quiet as she could, Kagura left Kyo's room, grabbing a sweatshirt of his as she left. The rain had stopped, and instead of the air feeling hot and muggy as it usually did, it felt much colder, and she was sure that Kyo had left the house once more. Kagura decided to check the place he usually went to; the roof.

As usual, on the balcony where Tohru hung the wash to dry was a ladder leaning against the wall, leading to the roof. Careful not to drop the sweatshirt, she climbed the ladder.

Kyo was sitting on the damp shingles, his back to her. Still being quiet, she walked to him, careful of her footing.

"Kyo-kun?" she said as she reached him.

"Go away." He didn't look at her, kept his head down, his eyes hidden.

"But, Kyo-kun…. I- what's wrong, Kyo-kun?"

"Nothin'."

"Kyo-kun…."

"Stop saying my name, damn it! Nothin' is wrong!" He paused. "We-we just shouldn't have done that, okay?"

"I-I don't understand," Kagura whispered.

Kyo was silent for several moments. "I-I just didn't feel right…. I couldn't handle how I felt, and you were there, and you made the feeling stop."

Kagura almost beamed. She had made Kyo feel better; she had, not someone else. But, why then…. "Why did you…push me away?"

"It'd only hurt you, it'd only hurt us both."

"You…you cared about that? About hurting me?"

"I ain't some cold-blooded guy, Kagura!" Kyo snapped.

Kagura smiled. His yelling almost never hurt her anymore. She knew it was just because he was so…awkward. Yes, awkward was a good word for Kyo. He didn't adjust easily in situations, didn't know how to act around girls, any girls. His awkwardness was something she adored about him.

"I know that. It's just, you never cared about anything I felt before."

He raised an eyebrow, looking at her smile. "Don't read too much into it. I probably would have made out with Hana if she had been there."

"Who?"

"Doesn't matter," he mumbled. "Just…. I don't want you to think there's anything going on between us, all right? I was just…. I don't know, I just wasn't feeling right, that's all."

Kagura sighed. If he was in denial, so be it. She could go along, pretend that there was nothing between them. She handed him the sweatshirt she had grabbed.

"Here," she said. "It's kind of cold out, I figured you'd need this."

"Thanks," Kyo muttered, and looked at the sweatshirt for a moment. Then, he took it, and put it across her shoulders.

It was all Kagura could do to keep from grinning as she shifted closer, and let her head fall on his shoulder. To her pleasant surprise, he didn't snap at her, or move away.

"You know, Kyo-kun," she said, closing her eyes, "if you ever don't… 'feel right', you can come get me anytime."

"Hey!"

* * *

I don't know what's going on with this chapter. At first, I was planning on making it kinda sappy and sad and sweet, and somehow, it turned out sorta humorous. Dunno how that happened. And, as to that paragraph where Kagura thinks Kyo is in denial; that is how I feel she thinks about Kyo. How could she not, and still be convinced they're going to be together? 

Please leave some constructive criticisms.


End file.
